Real Housewives of Miami: Skyscrapers of Reality TV

Skyscrapers: They’re over the top, they make up cities’ skylines, nobody wants to live next to them, and they’re a lot like Bravo’s Real Housewives. The amount of TV “real estate” that all the Real Housewives takes up is equivalent to that of a Skyscraper, and they won’t be “For Lease” any time soon.

Melissa Gorga’s tan, Adrienne Maloof’s mansion, and Gretchen Rossi’s bleach blonde wig/extensions/whatever, among other things, have kept so many viewers coming back for more, that Bravo is airing one-three seasons simultaneously year round. The Real Housewives takeover has redefined Reality TV so much, that other channels have successfully tried to delve into the “Housewives” themed reality shows (Basketball Wives, Sister Wives, etc).

One would think that the franchise’s success means that it is indestructible, but, like Skyscrapers, the franchise can crumble. The Real Housewives of New York City’s recent ratings, as well as the first season of Real Housewives of Miami’s lackluster performance, are proof that it is not invincible. It is, however, a well known fact that crumbling Skyscrapers can be repaired.

Despite Real Housewives of Miami’s low ratings, Bravo decided to remodel it. They re-plastered walls, fixed some cracks in the ceilings, oh... and hired a few new side-shows Housewives. In the recently released preview, we get a glimpse of the new and improved Real Housewives of Miami, and it appears that Bravo’s restoration efforts paid off... big time. There’s relationship drama, Elsa Patton (!!!), dramatic dinner parties, and a bitch-slap*! 

Check out the Trailer:

Will you be tuning in to the dramatic Season of RHOM?

*The Writer of this article only condones violence when it is being filmed and edited for Reality TV. Then, and only then, is physical violence “appropriate.”