Mob Wives Chicago: Road to Retirement

Photo Courtesy of Vh1

Mob Wives Chicago is the latest product of VH1's ongoing identity crisis. After the end of their Celebreality Era (Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Charm School, etc.) they promised to class it up, and Mob Wives Chicago is just their way of staying true to their word.

The people at Vh1 (who are most likely mistaking themselves for the people at A&E) have marketed the show as a gritty, crime reality show, but it is really just a bunch of geriatrics - who are/were close to their mobster relatives (or at least pretend to be) - who throw down as if they were the spring chickens on Bad Girls Club.

The July 15th episode got particularly rambunctious when Pia Rizza and Renee "Fecarotta" Russo attacked (watch here) Nora Schweihs at Christina Scoleri's party. Round one was nasty, and I spent most of the time worrying that one of them was going to break a hip, but I should have been prepared for what was to come! Nora decided to "hit" Renee with words rather than fists (which turned out to be a lot less noble than it sounds): "Your father raped you everyday." Consequently, Nora's face received a few blows from Renee's fists. Let's be honest, you would never see anything like this at your local seniors-only fitness center...

Photo Courtesy of Mob Wives Chicago Tumblr

Please don't get me wrong, I'm all for the elderly staying active, but quite frankly, this is physical activity at an extreme level. I think they need to stop boxing each other, subscribe to AARP Magazine and retire from their position as Mobstresses (can they collect Pension for that?).